What I Learned About Anxiety from My Own Struggles

By Leigh Mikaila, a contributing writer for CO Counseling Group

You know those cutesy stickers that say “Anxiety is a lying [fill in the derogatory name]”? Those words began to make a lot of sense to me in the years following my official diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Initially, I believed the lies it told me, not realizing they were lies. Anxiety told me all I could ever do with my life is be a low-earning, overworked, underminded employee. It made me believe the reason I felt so alone was because no one wanted to be around me, because I was so “entitled” by wanting more out of life. It told me that trying to be a writer or a teacher was a waste of time. And, ultimately, it told me that I was better off settling, and if I was too bougie to settle, then I should just give up completely.

But the same year I’d been diagnosed, the year I attempted to give up, I also learned something a bit controversial about anxiety: that I could use it to be my motivator. That year, while lying in a hospital bed watching Halloween movies as a nurse was assigned to watch me, I replayed everything leading up to that point. And I rather than accept what I’d believed, I questioned it. Why was I stuck on a 9-to-5 hamster wheel? Why was I isolated despite moving closer to people I thought understood me, but felt even further away from? And why was I always moving from place to place and never quite feeling like I was truly “home”? Of course, none of those answers came to me right away, but the fact that I was even asking them meant I knew, somehow, that I’d find those answers if I stuck around long enough.

I was right. Over the years following that night, I’ve become increasingly aware of when anxiety is attempting to sabotage any efforts I made toward living a more fulfilling life. When I become overwhelmed by a 9-to-5, I remind myself that not only is the job not my life, but my dreams are still in the foreseeable future. Whenever I feel isolated, I remind myself of the connections I’ve made wherever I’d gone, even while living abroad and not knowing a soul. Technology has made it easier to reach out whenever I need a friend. It has also allowed me to establish much-needed boundaries with those who aren’t good for my mental health, so that now, I can cultivate my circle rather than force myself to stay in unhealthy relationships. And finally, I make my “home” wherever my physical body is at the moment, regardless of what’s going on around me. Home isn’t a place, it’s a state of being. And anxiety? It’s not just the liar trying to convince me otherwise; it’s my catalyst for saying, “Nope, I got this!” By focusing on what I can control, I can lead an awesome, full life calmly. Anxiety can no longer control me with its lies.

Leigh Mikaila, a Chicago native, is an author and avid fan of horror, true crime, and romance. She is also a passionate supporter of and advocate for social awareness issues. She can be found on Instagram and TikTok under the username @authorleighmikaila, or on her website featuring blog posts and short stories at leighmikaila.com.

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If any part of this feels familiar, you don’t have to keep carrying it alone. At CO Counseling Group, we help people untangle the lies anxiety tells and reconnect with what really matters. Whether you're dealing with overwhelm, disconnection, or just trying to figure out your next step, therapy can help.

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